Parent Resources

Parenting “Cheat Sheet”

Despite what some people lead us to believe, parenting is not a one-size-fits-all type of endeavor. However, there are a few general ideas that I think hold true for pretty much everyone, which I’ve listed here.

• Our job is not to make our kids happy all the time; it’s to help them become confident, independent, kind humans. If we constantly remove every obstacle and challenge in their path, we’re actually hurting them by lowering their ability to develop resiliency and persistence.

• Yes, we do need to validate our kids’ emotions. No, we don’t need to do it all of the time (in fact, they’ll get annoyed if we do).

• Screens and technology are not inherently evil. But limits are important, as are boundaries and establishing healthy habits. Unfettered access to the Internet (including social media), however, is bad for kids (and tweens, and teens, and adults, too).

• Kids need time to play with other kids, without adults interfering every second. If that play is outdoors? Even better! They need more time outdoors, too.

• Kids need downtime, just like adults. They need time every day that is unstructured and unplanned. What if they’re bored? Even better, being bored is actually good for you (no seriously, there’s research that shows that when you’re bored, a particular area of your brain lights up that otherwise remains dormant).

• Kids need us to listen to them. I’m going to clarify – they need us to actually listen to them, meaning put away our phones, smart watches, iPads, and other devices and distractions. Despite what people think, humans are bad at multitasking and can really only focus on one thing at a time. If you’re choosing for that thing to be listening to your kid, then give them 100% of your attention in that moment.